Man accuses wife of overreacting when his mother mistakenly throws out her 7-year-old sourdough starter inherited from her grandmother, but apologizes, later tracking down more from a friend she once shared it with: 'Last tangible part of my grandmother'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Dec 19, 2025 7:00 PM EST

I've witnessed firsthand friends lose their minds, confidence, and inner glow to the task of creating and even maintaining a sourdough starter. Only those brave enough to have once tried the tedious task can understand the pain and frustration that comes along with it. Suddenly, every other life challenge feels like a breeze in comparison to the first time you try to watch her grow, and fail miserably…So we deeply sympathize with this woman's pain, and need to cry over her dough's loss, despite her reasons being more sentimental than we may have realized…

This woman received a 7-year-old sourdough starter from her late grandma, becoming a symbol of their relationship, and the "only tangible part" left of her grandmother…When her kind mother-in-law came over to babysit one afternoon, she did her DIL a favor by doing a few chores around the house, taking some of the workload off the busy couple's schedule! But when she returned home, she noticed something tragic…her sourdough starter had been emptied, the jar scrubbed devastatingly spotless…She knew her MIL must have incidentally thrown it out, but that didn't stop the tears from coming in hot!

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  • But when this husband finds his wife sobbing in their bedroom, he accuses her of overreacting…But once she explains the sentiment behind the simple bread starter, he finds the sweetest, most thoughtful way to cheer her up, keeping a piece of her grandmother she forgot still existed! 

  • Mother and daughter baking bread together in rustic home
    via alamycollection

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AIO my MIL threw out my sourdough starter.

    I had a sourdough starter that was about 7 years old and was taken from a discard of my grandmother starter, so it's old and sentimental, I've kept it alive through some really tough times for me.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • My mother inlaw came around to baby sit my daughter who is 8 months, she napped most of the time she was here and my MIL graciously did a few loads of washing and cleaned our kitchen and floors.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • I was and still am very grateful, I thanked her profusely. Once my mother inlaw had left I noticed the starter jar had been cleaned.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • I checked around hoping she'd maybe fed it and put it in a clean jar, this wasn't the case.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • I didn't expect this to be the case as she doesn't bake and doesn't really have any idea how bread is made.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • Woman holding her small jar of sourdough starter
    via africa-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My husband got home from work and I told him I needed a few minutes. I went into our room and had a big cry, I was mourning the starter as it was the last tangible part of my grandmother I had.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • I didn't contact my mother inlaw about it, but I needed to get it out. My husband said I was being very dramatic over what is just flour and water.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • I don't think I'm overreacting, but my husband has made me second guess myself. Update: Thank you everyone for the comments.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • My husband is getting a lot of well deserved snark. After I called him out on being a arse, he did apologise and take the baby out so I could have some time to myself.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • He returned home with some starter from his friends wife who he remembered I gave some to a few years ago and a 5kg bag of my favourite flour.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • To my horror he called him mum to explain what happened and she was very apologetic as expected.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • She's turned up here (not unexpected, she was invited) this morning with two "nice jars, with labels!
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • So you can display the starter." I'm happy to have some of the starter back, still a little sad it's not been in my care the last 2 years, my husband has been a lot more understanding and comforting of this since.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • Positive-Ad540 Absolutely not overreacting. I wouldn't be mad at MIL but I would be devastated.
    via Positive-Ad540
  • Woman crying with her head in her lap in a modern bedroom
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • OP Agitated Magpie I'm not angry at her, starter does just look like a jar of goop, I can understand why she threw it away. But I'm just so upset it's gone, I needed to cry about it. Thanks for your comment I'm glad others don't think I'm over reacting.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • Key_Bath_9005 You're not overreacting for mourning after losing a tangible representation of something sentimental to you. That's normal and the situation that you just described is incredibly unfortunate. Additionally, your husband's response is not great. Accident or not, flour and water or not, he should be extremely sympathetic and apologetic for the fact that this happened. Because 1) it is very upsetting 2) your partner should be emotionally supportive during things like this. You would be
    via Key_Bath_9005
  • OP Agitated Magpie I adore my MIL, it 100% would have been her not realising what it was. I might let her know when I have another one going what it is. I don't expect an apology, I just wanted to have a big cry and some time to myself to move past this.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • Magerimoje Or if OP ever shared any of the starter with someone, and they kept it alive, OP could ask them to share some back to restart her starter.
    via Magerimoje
  • OP Agitated Magpie I have given a friend some discard and she still has it, in the fridge and feeds it quite rarely. So it'll take some time, but I could probably get it to a good place. I'll give her a call and see if I can get some discard from her.
    via AgitatedMagpie
  • awwwboutch You are not overreacting. No one that doesn't live in a home and know the intricacies of it should take this sort of thing upon themselves. At a bare minimum she should have asked.
    via awwwboutch

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sentimental sour-dough-starter mother in law grandmother clean-out
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